Tiger Mother

We read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother last month for book club. I've been putting off writing about it because I'm not sure how I felt about it. Here we go...

Overall, I loved the book. Which is surprising. I went in with a complete preconceived notion of how I was going to feel and, quite frankly, was surprised to come out the other side feeling opposite. I did not always love her parenting. In fact, I often hated her parenting, but I loved her forthrightness. I think that not enough people say what is on their mind and clear the air when needed. So that aspect? I totally got behind. Say what you mean, don't be passive aggressive and clear the air when you need to.

However...there was a side of her I didn't love. She was...mean to her kids. Sure, she mostly got results, but can't you get results without calling names? By showing humanity? By loving more, better, differently?

But then I look at Sammy. Am I not getting the most out of him? Should we be more strict? In a lot of ways I think we could be. In a lot of ways, maybe we are too soft; asking if he's ok emotionally. But then...I don't know. I WANT him to be ok emotionally. I WANT him to think he can take on the world and win.

I'm not sure which course is correct. I'm not sure that we are doing him a disservice in any way and I'm not sure that changing things would be better. I ended the book really feeling for her. I think she had regrets at the end, but I don't know if that would be different for any parent. I'm beginning to think that regret is part and parcel of parenting.

I have a lot of ideas after reading this book. I am rethinking parenting and it's many options. But I'm as yet unsure if I should implement any of them or if the author was completely off base and should be dismissed. I'm still pondering...


(someday, glass tiger)

Rambles...

I have so much in my head and I fear there is no room inside for anything else. I need an entire day to just write everything down and a second day to just get everything done. Too bad it doesn't really work that way!

My friend posted on facebook that she didn't like chocolate oranges. That concept is so foreign to me. I'm fairly certain I could survive on them.

I love Pinterest. I now need to remember to actually REFERENCE Pinterest when I'm looking for something. In related news: I hooked Isaac on Pinterest. I don't know how to feel about this.

Sammy has completely outgrown all of his pants that I bought him in September. Why can you buy husky and slim little boy pants but not tall? ALL of his pants, minus his skinny jeans, are above his ankle. And I just had to order him a new pair of boots given that he was coming home with an indention in his heel from his old pair. I need him to stop growing!

Isaac's watching Brian Regan in the back ground. It's making my thoughts all jumbled and it's tough to type through the laughter.

If you had told me 10 years ago that these are the types of articles I would not only be reading, but reading and LOVING? I would have called you a liar. As it is, go. Read. Fascinating.

How much do I wish I were in NYC right now? SO MUCH.


(when your mind's made up, swell season)

Simplicity. Part One.

I started word of the year a couple of years ago as my way of bucking the "resolution" train. I didn't expect to start holding the tradition so very dear. I didn't expect to keep going with it and loving it as much as I do. And I certainly didn't expect living with a certain word in my mind all year to take on such life of its own. But I do and it has. I learn so much in the 12 months having a word to guide me. Surprising things. Simple things. And this year was no different. I chose simplicity for a very simple reason. After my year of abundance, I wanted slow. I wanted to uncover my core and find out, at 37, who I really was. And, just like the year previous, I got that and much more in addition.

I started the year devouring minimalist blogs and learning as much as I could about that lifestyle. So much about it appealed to me at the time. Still does, to an extent. However, reading helped me focus on what I really wanted. While I have no desire to whittle my possessions to the bare minimum, I did want to eliminate everything unnecessary. While I didn't want Isaac to quit his job, I wanted to engineer a life that included travel and time together and an emphasis on experiences instead of stuff. It was good to see what I truly valued.

By mid year, I started noticing a shift in my thinking. It's not possessions. It's how you think of your possessions. Don't let them hold you back. Don't let them suffocate you. Don't let them control any part of your thinking. Use them to enhance your life and it doesn't matter if you own 333 things or a million, if you love and need them. What you will have is a rich life with things to make it more rich. Which is how it should be.


(breathe, midge ure)

Reading Meme

I thought a little insight to my soul would be a lovely change of pace to distract you from the fact that I keep forgetting to charge my camera battery and skip week in pictures. Ahem. Anyway. A meme! From...everywhere, but here's where I decided to bite the bullet.

1) What author do you own the most books by?
Probably Jane Green. Unless you count each of Shakespeare's plays separately.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
Tender is the Night by F.Scott Fitzgerald? I think I may have three copies of it.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
No. But it probably should have.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Sidney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, but that isn't really "secretly"...

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
Little Women

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Little Women

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
Um...Alice I Have Been ranks up there somewhere, but probably not the WORST.

9) If you could force everyone to read one book, what would it be?
The Great Gatsby, hands down. But only if I could also make everyone love it.

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Me? Hahahahahahahahaha...I'm so funny.

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Definitely excited for The Hunger Games, but that's a given. Um...I'm cautiously excited for the new Great Gatsby. And I really wish they would do Love is a Mix Tape, but I'm sincerely at a loss at what it would look like. I don't think it would ever transfer to film.

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Can I retroactively say Twilight?

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
Oh MAN. I always have weird dreams, but none I could coherently describe now.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Ha! Anything by Nicholas Sparks. Which I think is only one book. But I hear they're all the same.

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
The Complete Works of Shakespeare.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
Seen? Nothing obscure, there. Though there's a few I wouldn't MIND seeing. Preferably in Central Park.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Have I ever read anything by a Russian?

18) Roth or Updike?
Updike

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Neither? Though I would choose Sedaris if I HAD to. But only if I had to.

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare, though I have a soft spot for Chaucer

21) Austen or Eliot?
Austen (however...Eliot? T.S.? George? Why not Austen or Bronte? That seems a more logical question...)

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
See answer to #17

23) What is your favorite novel?
The Great Gatsby

24) Play?
The Taming of the Shrew

25) Poem?
Um...Oh! Actually I've been reading through the love poems of Pablo Neruda and some of them are quite lovely.

26) Essay?
Anything by Ayelet Waldman. Seriously.

27) Short story?
Brady Udall has a book of short stories that I love very much.

28) Work of nonfiction?
The Happiness Project

29) Who is your favorite writer?
Fitzgerald and Jane Green (just keeping it real!)

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephenie Meyer. Ok. Maybe not. OH! David Sedaris. I don't get the love.

31) What is your desert island book?
My nook?

32) And … what are you reading right now?
I just finished Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and I'm also reading The Last Letter from Your Lover


(tell me what we're gonna do now, joss stone)

The Ebb and The Flow

(via pinterest here)

I've been thinking of friends, lately. Probably because they have been my lifeline more than once and my sanity this year.

I've mentioned before that in college I made two friends. They are my life long best of friends. When I married and moved away, I struggled to make that type of friend again. I oft lamented (here, even!) that maybe those types of friends were a special college only thing and the older you got, the more difficult it became to find those "drop by for hot chocolate and a chat" kind of friends. And I don't think I'm entirely wrong. With schedules and families and to do's a mile long, it IS tough to have that insta-bonding and carefree time you had in college.

I've tried to become close to a LOT of people in the past 15 years with varying degrees of friendship and success. I had resigned myself to a lot of 'good' friendships and a LOT of great acquaintances, but none I would call in the middle of the night to cry with should the worst happen. Until recently.

I've written that I've found myself in a very unexpected friendship this year and it's true. Against all odds, I find myself with not one, but two of the 'drop by and chat / middle of the night the worst is happening' kind of friends. And it wasn't until a chat with one of them last week that I really, honestly let myself believe that these women are here to stay. Permanently. That we'll be laughing and telling stories while sipping hot chocolate when we're 80. That we will be, no we ARE ALREADY, the kind of friends I thought I was too old to find. That came along once in a lifetime and my lifetime quota had been met. But no. I'm not. And it wasn't. And I will forever be grateful. Because there is nothing in this life like a couple of best girlfriends to see you through. To keep you sane and grounded. To stand by your side or to weep with you. I'm so blessed and I know it. And I firmly blame them for my recent softening around the edges and bursting heart.

But I'm not really complaining.


(guns n roses, welcome to the jungle)