Swoon and Fade Out

At a meeting last night, I noticed a fairly largish sized "sun spot" (or, you know, old lady spot) on my leg. ON MY LEG. Where is the gray hair? At least there is dye for that. Age spots? C'MON!

I may need to take to my bed, now...


(between something and nothing, the ocean blue)

My World. It's a Complicated World.

There is a fairly big deal blogger out there that I read occasionally. I also really have a great deal of disdain for her. She is...condescending and holier than thou and so very stuck on herself and privileged to the point of lunacy. And REALLY seems to have a problem with anyone "less than" herself. And she just makes me sad. I don't know why I still read. Oh, wait. Yes I do. It's like a train wreck that I can't look away from. I keep seeing these people hold her up on SUCH a pedestal and I wonder why. I read posts and comments and really marvel at the way people buy into her nonsense. And I sometimes just want to comment, "COME ON! REALLY?!" because if she said HALF the things she blogs about to me, in person, I would so call her on it. But then I remember that God created the lovely red X for a reason. But still, I don't delete. How does one spell G-L-U-T-T-O-N?

Add to this, the utter ridiculousness of another situation I'm currently in and I feel as though I'm back in high school. Pointing fingers at how STUPID the popular girl is being and trying to figure out why someone would want to be my friend and then change their mind 3.2 seconds later. That story goes like this...

I met this girl. She's a bit younger than I am, kid the same age as Sammy. I didn't love her, but we see each other often enough I was willing to become good acquaintances. I figured it wouldn't be anything more than that and that was ok. The first time I met her, we talked at length about people we knew in common and a common dislike we both shared. Enough to base a fairly healthy "I see you every week" kind of relationship on. Was not surprised at all when the facebook friend request came from her (REPEAT: came, FROM her) and after tossing it around in my head, accepted it a few days later. Imagine my surprise when ALL of her postings turned out to be the "Let's kill Obama" kind (I'm not even REMOTELY exaggerating the language). Wow. I have a few family members who post the same, so I did as I did with them. Hid her from my news feed and viewed her in a completely different light.

A couple of months went by and a mutual friend mentioned something. I was curious, because this "once a week acquaintance" had become an after thought, almost. She left when I arrived. She avoided me. Things not really obvious, but enough that I started to wonder...so I clicked on her name to go to her facebook page via this mutual friend and, POOF. I was no longer facebook friends with her. Huh. Didn't see that coming, but...I mean, I DID hide her, so it wasn't like a solid friendship was torn apart, but still. I found it a little humorous in the "NO! I broke up with YOU; you didn't break up with ME" kind of way. And now I wonder if she found it offensive that I'm liberal? Voted Obama? Have an Obama sticker on my car?** Didn't join in with her crazy? I really don't know. It could just be that we are very different people and she realized that after the friend request, as I did. I may never know. But running into her at church is still pretty awkward...

**However I no longer have an Obama sticker on my car because some idiot decided he would relieve me of such offense. Do they not realize that I will be helping to fund his reelection campaign by buying a new one? Thereby supporting the cause they were trying to make a statement against? C'mon! You just stole my bumper sticker. Seriously not cool.

On a happier note, I do believe I know where we are spending our anniversary this year and it's all very fancypants and cool and involves a night away. WhooHoo! So...you know. Yay! A night away!


(mad world, tears for fears)

The Perfect Weekend

I love the 4th of July. It is one of the most perfect holidays, in my opinion. Summer is fully here and beautiful. I get to sit in one of the most beautiful locations on earth with friends and family and laugh and eat and snuggle with my baby watching fireworks. Lovely.

This was Sammy's first year seeing the city's fireworks. He made it last year until about 5 minutes before they started, but then slept through them all. This year, he wanted to sleep, but he had gotten so worked up about what noise they might make that it kept him awake. And after about 25 minutes holding his ears before they started, he decided the noise wasn't so bad and snuggled in with me under a blanket with declarations of "Oooooh" and "Ahhhhh" and "Holy Broccomole!" and decided he loved fireworks. He did say, toward the end, that he was tired and ready to go home. I told him to snuggle in deeper and close his eyes and he could sleep at any time, but there was always a bigger and brighter firework aimed to capture his attention instead. It was magical to see them through his eyes this year. Magical and sad, realizing that my toddler is such a boy and is getting so big. I'm already dreading the day when he's too old to stay snuggly on my lap, ooohhhing and aaahhhing over the magic.

The next morning, we awoke to the tune of the annual pancake breakfast calling and when I asked Sammy how he was feeling, he simply grinned and said, "Um...I'm feeling...pancake-ish". That is the perfect way to feel on a perfect weekend, I think!

**ok, maybe a less than perfect weekend considering I completely forgot my camera at all events. Sigh...thankfully, my lovely niece did not and got this pic of Sammy!



(no stars, figures on a beach)

Some Girls

We read Some Girls: My Life in a Harem by Jillian Lauren for book club last month. Honestly? Wasn't expecting to like it. Truthfully? I think I did. Like it. But I'm not really sure. I feel much as Lora did about it.

I have a hard time discounting true life accounts. I mean, who am I to judge or tell them their experience was wrong? I am not them. I don't know what I would do if I WERE them and had the same life experiences. I just do not know...

What I do know is that I had tons of questions after I was done with the book. Like did the girls she named know the book was coming out? Did she use their real names? Are there any repercussions from the Sultan? Did she prep her family for this coming out and how? Is her dad still alive? And. Seriously. How much DID she spend during that "trying to reach her limit" spending spree?

We came away with the feeling that this is a life none of us could ever even imagine. It was something so far removed from us that it read as fiction. Her prose was so beautiful, so that helped give it a fictional feeling as well. And this was the first book in a long time that we kept talking about throughout our three hour meeting. So, that, right there, says something!

Next month is Snow Flower and the Secret Fan...


(torn, ednaswap)

The Circle

My mom made homemade bread. And most other things, as well, from scratch. I remember the days we got boxed mac and cheese and (GASP!) the occasional wear down that resulted in boxed chef boyardee pizza for Saturday lunch. I thought we had ARRIVED. This would be the turning point for us! Popularity! Name brand things! The gateway to the good life! So, I may have been a little melodramatic and completely overlooking other aspects of life. I get that. NOW. But then? It was rough having the mom who didn't buy convenience food.

So today. Here I am. Making homemade bread every week. Eliminating convenience foods from our diet and embracing the slow food / whole food movement. Turning our yard into one giant garden. Researching the smartest choices of reusable wares to get Sammy for his lunches once he starts school. And I wonder...will he feel the same as I did? Is there greater acceptance among peers, now, for this? Will he, as an adult, indulge in something he so rarely got as a child and bemoan the lost years of not having (like I do with boxed mac and cheese)?

Everything I balked at feels like it's coming back around, ingrained in my soul. And I feel parts of my childhood acutely as I guide choices for Sammy; reminding him to do what is right, not always what he wants.


(housemartins, caravan of love)