Woulda Coulda Shoulda

Coldplay is in Salt Lake this weekend. We aren't going to be there, no matter how I wish it were different. But that's how it goes sometimes, right? We don't always get to the concerts we want. Especially for someone like me who would like to go to more than is humanly possible!


That got me to thinking about concerts I wish I had gone to but, for whatever reason (money, proxemity, time, etc), I didn't. Here's my top 5.

First on the list would be Lloyd Cole. Someday, I swear I'll make it. He played a rare show in San Diego shortly after we moved there. We didn't know the area and it was in the middle of the week and didn't work out schedule wise, but once I realized how close he was to us...I've been kicking myself ever since. Even more reason to get to New England soon!


2. Oingo Boingo. I LOVE them. LOVE. Think they are brilliant and sorry I missed the heyday.

Man I love Danny Elfman.

3. Crowded House's Farewell to the World. I've seen Neil Finn live many times in lots of incarnations, but I would have LOVED to see them on the steps of the Sydney Opera House for this particular concert. And even though I'll be able to see Crowded House again, I'm sorry I'll never see Paul Hester with them.


4. Better Than Ezra. I would love to get to one of their shows. Someday. Have I ever disclosed the thing I have about guitar players? No? Huh.


5. INXS. Michael Hutchence was a sexy man.

Because I Have No Shame, vol 4

Ok. So maybe the last one wasn't totally shameful. I was just circling the drain, gathering courage. I have other baby / childhood pictures in my arsenal whenever I need some...

Today, our picture is from December 1992. That is....a really long time ago. I was a month away from being 19 (so, super old and knowing EVERYTHING). I had been dating / engaged to / broken up from / dating / engaged to / dating my first real boyfriend for nearly six months. A lifetime. Or, maybe it just felt a lifetime considering everything we dealt with in those six months. Ours, it wasn't the best relationship.

Anyway. Back to the pic. This was the night of Winter Formal. I wish I could post the picture of us AT Winter Formal because you we see two unhappy people. We were completely struggling by this time to stay together. It was so much work. My roommates hated him. I think I even hated him at that point (I swear, it was the hair I stayed for!), but he had some sort of hold on me. For months to come.

The day after winter formal, we had a huge fight. Then on Monday I had my French finale (which was oral, by the way, and not a great time to have to fight the tears!) where he met me in the hallway beforehand and...broke up with me. Good times. We left for Winter Break that week. I was days away from meeting my former best friend for the first time and he was home for Christmas, making out with a good friend of mine in order to "get over me". He came crawling back in late January (after my 'friend' told me what happened) and wanted to get back together and I nearly did. I probably would have if I hadn't met my former best friend and had some time to realize I deserved better, but it still didn't stop me from toying with the idea (both near & far from him, but mostly near) for a few weeks. He met his now wife shortly after this and they also had a rocky path to marriage. Mostly because he had a nasty habit of saying my name while kissing her...

So. Yes, I'm brushing my teeth and posting it for the world to see. Let's not discuss the big hair or glasses (covered in Vol. 1!). Let's discuss the dress (my sister made it for me and I LOVED it) and its poofy sleeves. Or the fact I'm wearing rather shockingly white tights (I was also wearing white slingback flats - the LAST time I ever owned white dress shoes...). Or, hey. How about the Mr. T style gold chain necklace with a heart centerpiece (yeah, that screams "Tawnya"!). Wait. I know. Let's discuss how FREAKING SKINNY I was. Sigh. 19 year olds don't appreciate what they have. All I ever focused on was not having boobs when I clearly should have been celebrating not having a post baby stomach as well!

What I Want for Sammy

I really had low expectations going into motherhood. Things like "I just hope I don't die in childbirth" (man, can I ever cut it close!) or "I just hope he sees his first birthday safely". I learned from the best to try not to outline Sammy's perfect life too often since we all know that would come back to bite me, but as he gets older, I definitely have wishes for him. Wishes that I can see changing and growing with him, but something a little more than a skinny outline of "I hope he's happy".

*I hope that I can instill a love of politics in him. Of knowing that he CAN change the world should he want to. There is so, so little of me in Sammy and I hope I can keep him civically minded.

*I hope we can provide him with a love of travel and seeing the world. Both Isaac and I love to travel, but we haven't done nearly what we would like. We honestly are trying to remedy that. Starting next year.

*I hope I can raise a compassionate, loving son. Someone who truly cares about his fellow man. More than toward those who are of the same situation and religion, but everyone. To see that there are causes everywhere and to give where he can.

*I hope I can teach a realistic view of culture vs. beliefs. I'm hoping a love to travel will help in that.

*I do hope he is happy and well adjusted and looks back to a childhood free of yelling (so far mostly good), but full of love and opportunity. I think with having an only, I'm so afraid I'm going to screw this up!

Man. Maybe that IS a tall order...

Because I Have No Shame, vol 3

(me at 10-11 months)

1. It TOTALLY snows in southern New Mexico. And gets cold.
2. That orange coat? So rocked. (and check out the polyester herringbone pants...that's right)
3. Real Christmas trees are the best. We would go and cut our own every year. I'm pretty sure I didn't go that year, but who knows? My parents have done crazier things!
4. Clearly, keeping baby away from fragile, glass ornaments wasn't the "NO" inducing event it is nowadays! (and I didn't realize those lamp lights were that old...huh)