"But Do They Bubble And Froth..."

My friend Emily forwarded this to some of us and I immediately fell in love with it (oh, how I love Stephen Fry!), passed it along and watched it several more times. And now I'm sharing here. Because I adore it just that much. Words are amazing and I can get lost in their sounds and the way they feel in my mouth. Constructing the perfect sentence is euphoric, for me. And people who have nothing better to do than complain about things that don't matter shoot that euphoria through the foot. So let's all have a little word sex in the coming days. Just for the sheer joy of being alive and literate, shall we?


(falling slowly, the frames)

This. That.

1. Our book club book this month, Juliet, Immortal, was, quite frankly, one of the worst books I've ever tried to get through. Which I didn't. Get through. I read half and skimmed the rest and then wanted to stab my eye with a fork. It was an AWFUL book. Horribly written and just...juvenile. I mean, I even read Twilight to finish, people. That's how bad this was. Which is sad considering the premise was fantastic to the point I was really excited to read it. Disappointment galore. I need a cleanser, now.

2. My sister's etsy site, Paisley Cinnamon is live. She has ADORABLE stuff. Go. Look. Buy. And sign up for her blog, also Paisley Cinnamon.

3. I'm dealing with something in my life I REALLY wish I could talk about. Because I have found that things are dealt with better when talked and not bottled. But I can't. And it's making me sad and REALLY mad. Sigh. Luckily it's moo and just a tiny blip and will be out of my life before I know it. But, oh. I do love to vent.

4. We bought a second freezer last week (an upright!) and that makes me...I don't know. But it's weird. Two freezers. I'm hopeful we can get everything into the upright and save the chest for turkeys and chickens. First milestone of food storage complete!

5. Sammy and I had a "do nothing but veg in front of movies" day on Tuesday. Those don't come nearly as often as they are needed.

6. I'm finding I'm so intolerant of people's drama lately. I'm guessing 38 years of trying to make everything ok for everyone and I just don't...care any more. Stop the drama. Everything's not always all about you. Say what you mean. Grow up. Realize that no place is perfect neither are people. Be open - to people, experiences, things. You may think you're the most open minded in the world, but if you came off your high horse, you'd see that the enemy really isn't there like you thought. Whew! I think that covers many of the ills I've been seeing. See one that fits you? Take it, embrace it, run with it and grow up. We'll all be happier. Hmmmm. Did I just say that to the world? Huh. Carry on. Nothing to see here.

7. I really want these boots and I don't know how to reconcile that in my head.

8. I finally started watching PBS's Downton Abbey. Oh, my. I just adore it. And for the first time since getting rid of tv, I'm sad. Justified started this week. And we still need to catch up on season 2. I keep telling myself that it's fine, but man. I'm antsy. Speaking of...The Swell Season on DVD just got a release date. Guess what's preordered?

9. I ate so many clementines yesterday, I think my body may be holding on to a secret case of scurvy I don't know about.

10. This has been my theme song this week. I forget how much I love it.


(emperor's new clothes, sinead o'connor)

I Think The Dread Starts The Day After Graduation...

Speaking of scheduling vacation days for the year, the date for my 20 year reunion has been set.

My friend and I immediately took to our beds and started talking about it and wondering a)why we even care (but we do!) and maybe after this summer we will no longer really have to think about high school. Which was a little less than kind to either of us.

I'm so torn on whether or not to go. On one hand, I kind of want to. I have friends that will be there that I haven't seen for awhile and I would love to catch up. In the flesh. On the other hand, I hated high school. I've made great strides in my life and don't want to go through the whole "feeling awkward and 14 again". On one hand, I would get to go home again. On the other...I hated high school. See the pattern?

I think it would be fine and I'm definitely erring on the side of going (although did I mention it would be in New Mexico? In JULY?) but there is a little part of me that isn't sure I can fake smile my way through three days. Even if the other part of me really wants to show Isaac how insane my graduating class was. And there's the matter of it taking time away from home and having to reschedule Sammy's birthday plans. Which I swore I'd never do. And I think it's the main thing holding me back from firmly committing...well, that and it's still a day's drive from any airport to my home town, so getting there isn't going to be a rosy ball of fun. Sigh. What does one wear to a 20 year reunion when she'll be one of a handful not completely wasted? Oh, wait. Same thing I wore in high school... (go 6th period 'game of quarters'! I mean Food Science!)

I'm looking MUCH more forward to Isaac's 20 year. At least then I can hang with friends I know and see on a nearly daily basis anyway!

(In finding the right song for today's video, I found this list. And then curled into a tight ball, rocking back and forth as much for the sheer greatness of music 1992 produced and for how holy fricking old I am. Sigh...However. This. Perfect AND it's from 1992. Sometimes the music gods smile...)


(we hate it when our friends become successful, morrissey)

To Fill That Awkward Silence

I often feel stating my word of the year shows me in a very uncomfortable, vulnerable light. I feel stripped bare as I lay the pieces at your feet throughout the year. It's such an odd process and if I didn't find it so invaluable, I'd most likely give it up completely. Especially this year. This year I feel so broken open. So exposed.

But here is the thing (and there is always a 'thing', right?). I have a GREAT life. I have the best husband in the known world. I have a great son. I have friends and resources and enough for my needs and most of my wants. I am happy. I am blessed. Life is, dare I say?, good. So good. And that is what brought me to my word. Because even though it's good - and it is - I know it can be even better.

I have a portion of my soul that I write about. It leads some to believe that I'm negative. That I'm unhappy. That I don't allow failure to surround me. Nothing is further from the truth. I'm not negative. All the time. I'm happy. Most of the time. I fail. Often. I write about this portion, which, admittedly, if you don't know me, you may take away that it is the WHOLE rather than the PART. It is the portion that drives the fear and as such, I need to get it under control. To make things even better. Even happier. To live my life with joy. But this portion, it leaves me feeling bare and broken open, for the entire world to judge and sit as witnesses. And that leaves me apprehensive. Because I don't want this journey to become the whole story. I want to keep it just a portion, but I fear (FEAR! See? I need this!) it's dominant simply by way of being foremost in my mind. And I need to remember to treat it as the part it is and not as the whole it is not.


(stripped, depeche mode)

Looking Forward

January is here and, while warmer and drier than normal, it's still January. Which means I need something to look forward to. So I started to do what I do. Vacation planning...

It would be easy for me to skip this year altogether and, well, the next couple of years really, and look forward to our trip (date undetermined as of yet) to England (London! Manchester! Scotland! Ireland!). But I can't. Even though I'm already RIDICULOUSLY excited for it and may have already started pinning ideas for it. But, ahem. This plan is not about that plan. For now. So I'll keep the British dreaming (London! Manchester! Scotland! Ireland!) to myself for a while longer.

This spring, instead, we're headed home (home...for me). I'm really looking forward to it. We're touring a good portion of the southwest, which we haven't really done, before. When we go home, it's usually a straight shot to my parents and back with nary a side trip to be seen. This time, however, we are hopeful to hit Phoenix and see some people and then go home via Santa Fe and Albuquerque to do some exploring. I've never been to Santa Fe (criminal, right?) and I'm eager to go. Sammy's just eager to do a puzzle with Grandma...and it's about time I start to firm up a few plans.

Next up, we have a girls weekend in New York for me and my best friends from college. I have no words for this one. Days in a hotel, not being a mom? I think I just shed a tear at the thought. I mean, I'm really looking forward to it, I think it will be swell! Shopping, food, the company. Though I will miss my boys something fierce, I think it's the right time to do this. A little shot of adrenaline just before summer hits.

And, well, it's hard not to ALREADY look forward to our anniversary get away. Even if I do need to wait eight more months for it. I look forward to it every year and as the cold settles into my bones, not to leave until at least May, it sounds better and better. Icy drinks, warm sun, beautiful stars, warm jacuzzi. Sigh...

Anyone up for financing a spontaneous and immediate trip to some warm sandy shore for me? No? I guess I'll just have to look forward, then. For now.


(home, depeche mode)