Sammy and I found some cool fountains while wandering downtown Salt Lake.
There were so many horrid fashion examples to choose from while shopping last weekend. However, I settled on this little number. And I do mean little. And ugly.
Sammy's new cat blanket. Cats + comfy cozy = Sammy's happy place. Large grey cat like mass on the floor? Freaks me out a little.
Sammy took over the camera during lunch with my sister.
And this summed up how bored he was DURING lunch with my sister... Luckily, he can usually amuse himself!
Issue the first: My sister and I were talking (wait...I think it was my sister...) about over-scheduling the other day. I kept thinking about it and I've come to the conclusion that I just.don't.get.it. I don't. Why would you do that to yourself on purpose? Don't we all have ENOUGH to do naturally, especially with kids and kids school, that you start adding more and more unnecessary stuff just seems...crazy. Seriously. We kept things so un-over-scheduled around here and that's what I love. Actual quiet downtime. I know people who thrive on going a mile a minute and playing the "I'm so busy" martyr and I was always the one rolling my eyes. And then I came upon this quote:
"Let's be honest, it's rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self worth depends on the length of their to do list. The flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutiae...even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy and too little sense of meaning in their lives...It is said that any virute when taken to an extreme can become a vice. Over scheduling our days would certainly qualify for this." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2010
And I said....ahhh. Gotcha. My take away? Just say NO, people! It's a lovely, lovely thing. Quiet time.
Issue the second: Why do women assume now that Sammy is in school that I "should babysit!". Why is that the go to? Did it ever occur to them that I have other interests? That I don't feel the need to mother neighborhood kids? I had a woman I just met say that to me yesterday. After I casually mentioned that I was sad Sammy was gone during the day (a topic she brought up) she said, "Maybe you should babysit" and without even thinking, I said, "Why on EARTH would I want to do that? I don't like kids!" and then remembered that I don't really know this woman...But still. Why is that the "go to" answer for when kids are gone all day? Because I have a uterus and couldn't POSSIBLY find anything else to occupy my time? Ugh.
Yeah, I realize I'm most likely overreacting. I get that. But it's so annoying to assume that is your ONE call in life. That any extra time you find yourself having should be immediately filled up with cleaning up after other people's children. I'm not even REALLY sorry that I didn't filter my comment. Her look was priceless and I've never really seen such a talker exit a conversation so quickly, so it wasn't without enjoyment. And, well, I'll assume we won't be becoming the best of buds any time. Clearly...
*Apparently everyone at school calls Sammy, Sam. I knew it would probably happen, but it makes me a little sad and I wonder how long until he's just "Sam" to most.
*I was facebook unfriended by someone last week. I only notice because I was admiring my nice round number of friends the week before and then noticed the dip by one. I checked my list and didn't notice anyone gone (um...) but then noticed I was ALSO deleted by this person on GoodReads. A quick search on FB confirmed she was the one. Take away? I didn't notice she was gone, so CLEARLY we were not the best of buddies. We've never really loved one another and were fb friends of proximity, but once the proximity change, the status did not, so I am a little curious what brought it on. I'm rarely fb controversial. My friend Cheryl suggested they have a defriending questionnaire before you click delete. I think that would be awesome. And for the few times I've unfriended, could have had a little fun before walking away.
*Games and food at my sister's this weekend. Totally excited.
*The Castle premiere rocked. You know, except the 20 minutes it cut out, that is...
*We do ok in the whole foods eating / recycling / using what we have / no chemical cleaning products vein. And JUST when I think we're settling into a comfortable routine, I read something like this. Homemade VINEGAR! Sigh...I'm still such a poser.
*Did I mention T.V. season is back on? Yippee!
*I'm reading two separate books about memory loss. Not only is it trippy, I'm starting to get the stories crossed in my head. Which isn't great since one is a thriller and one is a romance.
*The leaves are starting to change. My apple tree is gorgeous. It's dipping down into the 40s at night. I'm trying to put off pulling out the big guns hot chocolate machine for just a *little* while longer, though. At least until my new go to sweater gets here. It's so pretty! Won't it look lovely, Starbucks cup in hand?
*Some people baffle me. Sometimes I don't get why they make life so darn difficult. Or stupid. That is all.
When you grow, leaving behind the choking mistakes of the past, it comes as a shock to the system to suddenly be remembered for them, and not for the ways you battled against them and changed. When are words just words and when do they mean more? When do the words that people lobby against you, but are clearly not how you see yourself, come to reality?
I think of the many people who have come and gone in my life and how I've classified them in my mind: annoying, brash, way too happy, easy, lazy, sarcastic, etc. I'm wondering how many times I've used words against others, in the heat of the moment or with great flippancy.
I often give to homeless people on the street. Call me whatever, but I do. Last Saturday, Sammy and I were walking around Salt Lake and I spotted two homeless men sitting on a wall. I grabbed some cash and handed it to them and fully expected to move on, like I normally do. But something about them stuck with me. I crossed the street and bought some sandwiches and milk and we crossed again and gave them to the men. Sammy happily marched over and passed along the milk and I gave them the sandwiches and a smile and wished them well. But, yet, I couldn't get them out of my mind. Still, days later, I can see their faces and I'm struck again with why they are staying with me. And I wonder what classifications they've dealt with in their young lives: junkie, lazy, dirty, stupid. But for some reason, all I could see was someone's son. As I was explaining to Sammy why we were helping, I felt, very strongly, about how I use words and how words are used against me.
And once again, because it seems I'm always trying to learn this lesson, I vowed to be better. I know first hand how it feels when you are pegged as one thing and no matter the change it's the only thing people see. And how I would have normally seen those men, but for some reason, this time, I didn't. It changed me. In ways that I still don't understand. But words are powerful and maybe they are just waiting for people to see them with new ones.
We have our first sick day. I feel it's some sort of rite of passage.
Sammy started sniffling late Friday night and by Saturday, he was in full blown, red-nosed, cold mode. I dragged him all over on Saturday and by Saturday night, he was one miserable dude. But, like a light bulb slowly turning on, I remembered a new tub of vicks in the closet. This, my friends, is progress. I usually only remember the new tub of vicks in the closet AFTER Sammy's cold is completely over. Only five years! Sheesh. Happily, that made all the difference in the world and he slept so very well.
I'm a little sorry to say that by Sunday night, when I realized that Monday school was a no go, I was a little excited. Because Sammy sick day would definitely equal me actually getting something done. What a fabulous concept. And a spark of the old life. Which I miss. And hopefully by lunch we'll be snuggled into a vapo haze, me reading my creepy new book and he...bugging the snot out of me until I can't wait until he goes back to school. Fingers crossed!
