Did I mention my husband was silly? I did, right? So this shouldn't come as a huge surprise...(posing and picture courtesy of Sammy)
I love Sammy's desire to capture pretty things on film.
Sammy's new glasses. I can't get over how grown up he looks!
Me. Waiting to go to the farmer's market. Sammy commandeered my camera.
How I found Sammy watching t.v.
And...a preview of this year's family pictures. I LOVE it!
Do you ever wonder about some people's marriages? We know of couples, both family and not, that I just WONDER what brought them together and, more importantly, what KEEPS them together. They sometimes just don't seem to...mesh. Go together. Have a thing in common; and not just hobbies, but honest to goodness life philosophies, as well.
In writing character relationships, I seem to be drawn to the ones who are similar in style and life to one another. They all have the same sort of...vibe, I guess. I'm guessing that isn't surprising since my relationships have always been with those similar to myself. But in a few instances, I've wanted to write from the point of view of a marriage that seems to work, but the two have NOTHING in common. Life, love, anything. So I've been spying a little more on friends and acquaintances that make me walk away wondering, "How DOES that work?" trying to gain a little insight. Because I'm pretty sure just out and out asking that wouldn't go over quite as well.
It was exactly 19 years ago this month I was proposed to for the first time. I realized this, a few weekends ago, as Isaac and I were talking about the kids age of some of people our age. (Whew!) And how young our child is in comparison. And realizing, had I gotten married in December 1992 as planned and gotten pregnant right away, I could have a fully formed adult child. (Shudder!)
I'm amazed at all of the things that need to line up in life for certain events to take place. One decision and your entire life changes. I met him in July 1992. We were engaged in August. I remember bits and pieces. He proposed in "The Gardens" behind the college we were attending. It was a popular spot to make out and pop the question. Later in my school career, we used to hike up to the heating vents of the student center and make fun of those on their way to the gardens. But I wouldn't have known that then. I just remember being caught up in the (not) grandness of it all and said yes. I was in immense lust with the boy and I thought, at the sorry age of 18, this would be my one shot at love. We had a candle lighting (which I would explain, but I don't even know what it is...only know I was coerced into it!) in which Bryan Adam's Everything I Do was the soundtrack (it was sort of "our song" though I'm loathe to think why. After all it is THIS boyfriend that started my love affair with Neil Finn and Crowded House's debut 'tape' was the real soundtrack to our one happy summer spent nearly entirely in his room). The ring was simple, with a promise of more. The lust was simple, with the hope of more. Neither came to fruition.
At the time of proposal, I had known him a month. MAYBE five weeks, if we're being super generous. And getting engaged. We were to be married in Denver in December, but the engagement was over by September. At least a half dozen more make up / break ups followed. And fights. Unlike I had ever known before or since. I was not ready to get married. I was especially not ready to be married to someone so controlling and sexist. It was mere weeks after our 'wedding' date that I met the former best friend. It was two years after the proposal, in the same month, that I got engaged to my ex-husband and seven years, the same month, after that Isaac and I were married. So much love in such a short amount of time.
If I could go back and tell anything to my 18 year old self, it would be not to worry so much. Not to knee jerk react into an engagement that I wasn't sure about. That my biggest fear of not finding love would clearly be shown unfounded. Time and time and time again. That that first engagement was clouded by lust and never founded in love. That real love was so close, it would hit me out of the blue and when I married the second time it would be amazing and lasting and everything I had ever wanted. But most of all? I would tell her good job for holding her ground on her ideals and goals and not settling. For fighting for what was right and true, even if those six months were crazy and tumultuous. And for making those Sliding Doors kind of decisions that ultimately lead me here, writing about that one time, a million years ago, I was engaged when I was 18.
1. I hate driving directly behind motorcycles. HATE. Or between 18 wheelers and the center barrier. Shudder...
2. I may have passed along a ridiculous love of back to school shopping to my son. And even if our lists only consists of scissors and markers, we MAY still be making a big trek to Target anyway.
3. Happiness is spending a random Monday night with friends at the dam. And watching the crazy singles group make cardboard box race boats. And offer up a not so silent prayer of thanks that you are no longer single.
4. Sammy is now being treated for migraines. Talk to me in a month when I may be a little kinder to myself for passing those along. Right now I'm just too upset to deal.
5. I forgot to take my allergy medicine yesterday. I can't breathe today. And I may die. Just so you know.
6. I've been making my own planners for the past couple of years because I can never find one that is exactly what I love. I bought on for this coming year (well, starting in November) because I just BARELY finished this years (ending in October). I realized that the time commitment to just DO IT wasn't something I was loving. Here's hoping it's a good one!
7. We had issues with Sammy's birthday cake. A long story. I called the manager of the ice cream shop and she was...let's say it rhymes with "HATAN" and leave it there? So not helpful. Told me how wrong I was, but if I wanted free coupons, I could come get them. To which I lost my temper and told her if she wasn't going to listen to me and insist I have the coupons, she could mail them. I wasn't "wasting" time and gas to go get them. Two weeks later and nothing. I called corporate yesterday, the district manager called me back and listened and it's being resolved. Which is all I wanted to begin with. NOT coupons. I made sure he knew that I DID lose my temper and I had no problem with the original employee and got the feeling the interim-manager I spoke with was already on his "list" and he was just lovely. Whew!
8. I'm trying to find a way to justify these. Or these. But coming up blank...
9. I'm going to see The Kooks in November with my sister. I'm unbelievably excited. Mostly because I know that she will appreciate them more than my husband! I'm buying my ticket this weekend because my "concert corner" on my board is sadly empty right now.
10. My son starts school in eight short days. I'm alternating between freaking the CRAP OUT and denial. I'm not sure which I prefer.
1. When shopping for a back pack, I noticed something, well, something that wasn't a huge surprise, but still made me chuckle at myself. Sammy, at first, was drawn toward the packs that were logo'd. I completely refused. He could not have a pack with cartoon characters on it. A mom stopped us in the aisle as we were shopping to make sure we knew how cheap the licensed packs were and I found myself telling her thanks, but for me and my house, we don't do cartoon splashed items. And then we found THE ONE and I had to laugh. Phineas and Mater are no goes. But pink skulls for my boy? Totally acceptable.
Which leads me to...
1a. I never buy things on which current cartoon characters reside (especially shoes!). Nostalgia laced? Sure, he has a scooby shirt and a few super hero shirts. Current? Nope. But shoes...those are character free. Completely. And I've noticed I've always been this way - even when he was a baby.
2. So far I'm loving 5. Four is hellish (don't let anyone try to fool you on the "terrible" twos. It's really the fours you need to look out for!) but I didn't expect five to be such a dramatic turn around. He's trying food left and right and that is COMPLETELY not like him. I have hope of a scurvy free existence for him, yet!
3. I think I may have passed on headaches to him. He's had three in the past week and they are looking awfully like heat or sinus headaches (late in the day, frontal positioned, goes away with a nap or tylenol or both). I know allergies are back with a vengeance right now and I'm wondering if he gets the same sinus wonky headaches I do. Or if they are heat related (I have ALWAYS gotten heat headaches...). I just feel so badly for him. So far we're pumping the water and we'll check on the allergies and go from there. Hopefully it's not migraines. I shudder at that thought...
4. Things my son have said lately:
a. "I don't like haircuts. But I DO like talking to the girls..."
b. Talking about how we don't date until we're 16 (which he insists is really 5, by the way...). "Why? Is that because we don't know where they live until we're 16?" Yup. That's why.
c. "I just love all the girls everywhere. I want them all to be my girlfriends." Sigh...
5. He had his teacher as a partner in his art camp presentation. I asked why and he said it was because everyone else picked everyone else and he didn't have a kid left for him. So, essentially, he didn't get picked. Isaac told me not to read into it. Of course, I did and am worried about it. I don't want my kid to not pick anyone to the point he never gets picked either. It made me sad.
