In the past two days I have:
-Taken a chunk out of my thumb on the tub of my washer
-Massaged a bee that had made its home in my tub of blackberries
-Sent my child to bed without dinner to the tune of "I'm really mad at Mommy"
-Developed a sore throat and wonky sinuses
-Shoved a staple, that was hanging down under my ottoman, under my big toenail, leaving a gaping hole where the flesh should be
I cry uncle.
(everybody hurts, rem)