Along with simplifying our lives, I also want to make it more meaningful. I sometimes find myself thinking, "that tradition seems pointless with only one kid" and even thinking it makes me sad. I don't want to short change Sammy because he's an only just because I think it would be 'pointless' or easier on me. So I really want to infuse meaning into our simple life. Some family traditions. Fun things to do. The things we surround ourselves with and spend our energy on.
The thing is...I'm at a loss at how to accomplish this. I mean, when I'm actively thinking (like I did SEVERAL times over the holidays) "that seems pointless with an only", I stopped and did it anyway and adjusted my thinking. But when I'm not actively thinking that...I don't know how to create the meaning I'm craving. I want Sammy to have these meaningful experiences in life. I want him to grow up valuing experiences and our little family more than stuff.
I think I need to do a little reading. I need to sit for awhile and make a list of what is truly important to us as a family. Maybe after I do that, I can get a grasp on what it is I'm craving with this and how it looks through the lens of my life of simplicity. One of the first things I need to read will be only child specific and creating meaning. It's times like this that I wish I had a friend with an only to bounce ideas off of and model how best to do this. I'm anxious to make my little family of three the best it can be. The most meaningful it can be. I feel a project brewing...
(world where you live, crowded house)
4 clever comments:
Don't forget to takes some cues from Sammy. HE will show YOU what is meaningful to him.
It's a little exhausting with 7 children, but they each have traditions that THEY hold dear and that's why we continue them. Even when I get to a place where I think they don't mean much.
That's funny that Trish mentioned it already but I was thinking maybe have Sammy come up with a list of creative ideas that he'd like to try someday. Keep asking because his ideas will keep changing but you might just be sparked with inspiration from your own "only".
Don't beat yourself up either. Some of my fondest memories are the whacky things we did that weren't meant to be traditions in the first place. Like when we moved (we only did the tradition once though we moved many times) we had a candlelight evening where we camped out on the floor and ate pudding and talked about our favorite memories in that house. Perhaps something like that could be a new year tradition or an end of summer tradition. You never know.
I've been thinking about traditions a lot over the last couple of months. It seems like the holidays sneak up on me and I get busy and caught up and then they're over and I think, but we didn't do x, y or z, bummer. I feel a lot of responsibility for setting the tone in the home and making things feel special.
I started a checklist for each holiday/season/birthday where I'm writing down the important things. I went with the five senses, so things I want to smell, taste, hear, see and do. It's helping me to blend the traditions from Ryan's family and my family and even to eliminate some of the silly stuff. My hope is that I can look at this checklist before the craziness sets in and be more intentional in how I spend my time and energy and hopefully make things special for my family.
If you find a good book let me know.
I look forward to hearing what you come up with. I think all of us (regardless of # of children) are looking for meaning in our lives.
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