I can, in fact, live comfortably in the upstairs of my house. Well. As long as I have someone to bring me food. RELATED: hire butler?
American Idol is kinda boring and...meh. I honestly think I REALLY am over it this time. RELATED: Rules of Engagement is hilarious and our DVR didn't pick it up this week. Which made me sad.
The upstairs couch is SO much more comfortable than the beautiful leather couch downstairs. RELATED: make a note to not recover the upstairs couch in leather.
Intense discussions between popular bloggers are a LOVELY distraction from the alien invasion of stomach flu. RELATED: some people think very highly of themselves...and it's not usually the popular bloggers.
Sammy hates it when I'm sick and HOVERS something awful until I'm up and around again. RELATED: here's that momma's boy I was aiming for.
There should TOTALLY be a toddler place to hang while parents are sick. One that doesn't make me feel guilty for pawning them off on family. RELATED: thank you Amanda!
I hate my body and how it deals with illness. RELATED: make chiro appt. Stat.
I am a weak and wussy woman. RELATED: I'm sorry Isaac!
Tom and Jerry has a lot of explosions. And guns. And inappropriate adult humor. RELATED: I love Tom & Jerry. RELATED: Sammy didn't love Fraggle Rock as I was hoping.
I'm bummed that I missed watching Sherlock Holmes with Isaac. RELATED: I've not seen 8:30 pm for several nights, now...
I'm trying to decide whether or not to add a Jack Johnson concert to this summer's line up.
RELATED:
(jack johnson, sitting, waiting, wishing)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Silence Is Defening
I think feeling lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world. Growing up in a large family, it wasn't something I felt often; it was actually quite the opposite, trying to find a solitary place amid the chaos. I remember one of the first times I felt the oppressive lonely. It was right after my parents dropped me off at college. We had grocery shopped and unloaded all of my stuff, paid my tuition and bought books. My parents said goodbye and started the long journey home. Just as I shut the door to my dorm and walked into my new room, I felt it. The homesickness and crushing loneliness. I cried and wondered what I had gotten myself into. My parents, in wisdom, left the unpacking to me for after they left and it helped to get lost in the task. That and music, of course. The loneliness abated quickly, with the newness of the situation bringing along with it fun and new friends and a boyfriend and didn't reemerge for several years.
The next time I felt that type of loneliness came into play was during my first marriage. I remember wondering how one could be lonely sleeping five inches away from one's spouse. I think that was the first time I had tangible evidence of something some have too much experience with - the lonely while with someone. It felt as though there was a mountain between us and even when either of us tried to reach the top and grab the other's hand to help, it would grow. Insurmountable. And the loneliness stayed. And hurt. And colored everything in my world.
These days it's much harder to feel alone. I have the greatest two boys that are always absolutely in my corner, to see to that. But I still have episodes of fleeting loneliness. Like the times when Sammy doesn't need or want me around a lot. Or when Isaac is in his own head over a project and I'm left feeling the lone girl in a sea of nothing. I have my own to dos and projects, but sometimes it just isn't the same. This loneliness is different, not rooted in homesickness or the loneliness that comes when love is dying, but it still has the decidedly distinct hallmarks. While not prolonged, it's still there and can lead to feelings of neglect. Or resentment. Or getting into my head too much and, well, nothing good can come of that.
These periods of intermittent loneliness remind me that it's up to me to work through these patches in my life and not just sulk. There isn't a reason I should be feeling the real lonely and I need to close up work and play with Sammy or talk to Isaac and actually ask for some time together, to work through it. Especially if my dream of becoming that couple who, after 60 years, still can't get enough of each other and when one dies, the other follows shortly, dying of a broken heart is to come true. I'm thinking those relationships surely had times of fleeting loneliness throughout the years, but I also doubt that they let those moments cloud the end goal. Or their love. At least for long.
Have you hugged your loved ones today?
(lonely no more, rob thomas)
The next time I felt that type of loneliness came into play was during my first marriage. I remember wondering how one could be lonely sleeping five inches away from one's spouse. I think that was the first time I had tangible evidence of something some have too much experience with - the lonely while with someone. It felt as though there was a mountain between us and even when either of us tried to reach the top and grab the other's hand to help, it would grow. Insurmountable. And the loneliness stayed. And hurt. And colored everything in my world.
These days it's much harder to feel alone. I have the greatest two boys that are always absolutely in my corner, to see to that. But I still have episodes of fleeting loneliness. Like the times when Sammy doesn't need or want me around a lot. Or when Isaac is in his own head over a project and I'm left feeling the lone girl in a sea of nothing. I have my own to dos and projects, but sometimes it just isn't the same. This loneliness is different, not rooted in homesickness or the loneliness that comes when love is dying, but it still has the decidedly distinct hallmarks. While not prolonged, it's still there and can lead to feelings of neglect. Or resentment. Or getting into my head too much and, well, nothing good can come of that.
These periods of intermittent loneliness remind me that it's up to me to work through these patches in my life and not just sulk. There isn't a reason I should be feeling the real lonely and I need to close up work and play with Sammy or talk to Isaac and actually ask for some time together, to work through it. Especially if my dream of becoming that couple who, after 60 years, still can't get enough of each other and when one dies, the other follows shortly, dying of a broken heart is to come true. I'm thinking those relationships surely had times of fleeting loneliness throughout the years, but I also doubt that they let those moments cloud the end goal. Or their love. At least for long.
Have you hugged your loved ones today?
(lonely no more, rob thomas)
same, same!
all about me
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Felled By Strawberries
Here is an email I just sent to Isaac:
"Sprite tasted like puke, too. Am beginning to suspect it's just me..."
This, after complaining that my yogurt tasted off this morning as well. The good news is that it's been 28 hours since the puking stopped. And I lost 10 pounds. The bad news is that I had to ask Isaac to open the Sprite before he went to work because I was too weak to even contemplate it. And the 10 pounds was lost in a day and a half. So it WILL be coming back.
It all started Monday night IMMEDIATELY after dinner. The cramping. The pain. The horror! I was up all Monday night with it. Yesterday was better but still not great. This morning I'm feeling MUCH better, but still terribly weak and shaky. Yesterday, I made Isaac promise to come home for lunch, to help feed Sammy. When I heard the garage door open at noon, I was relieved. I was drifting in and out of sleep, mildly conscious of Sammy making a giant mess, when I heard Isaac emptying his pockets into the bowl he keeps on our dresser. Something he only does, you know, when he's home for the day. And in my sick addled mind, I kept thinking...am I sicker than I realize? That Isaac had to come home to take care of me? Never once thinking that it might be HE who was now sick as well. But, low, it was Isaac coming home sick. Which is a BIG deal for my husband. Luckily he was less sick and not such a baby as I am when sick, so he hung out and rested while Sammy watched Kung Fu Panda and I took a glorious four hour nap.
After my nap, I started realizing how thirsty I was and that 24 hours with only one two liter of Sprite and two cups of yogurt leaves one a little weak. I cautiously made my way downstairs for the first time since it all started and felt as though I had just ran a marathon. Plus my diaphragm started in on its "so sore that it hurts to breathe" post puking extravaganza.
In checking facebook, I learn that both my mother and sister in law were sick as well. Isaac and I start thinking back and realize that it may not be the stomach flu after all. It may have been something we ate at my in-laws on Easter. And this morning, it starts becoming even more clear. The strawberries. The four of us ate the bulk of them. I ate some Saturday night while cutting them, making sense why I got sick first and every one else didn't get sick until yesterday. And Sammy didn't get sick at all (because heaven FORBID he eats something other than sandwiches. Or yogurt)...Of course, I could be wrong, but that's the way I'm leaning right now.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Sprite diet day two will now commence.
Heh...
(morrissey, first of the gang to die)
"Sprite tasted like puke, too. Am beginning to suspect it's just me..."
This, after complaining that my yogurt tasted off this morning as well. The good news is that it's been 28 hours since the puking stopped. And I lost 10 pounds. The bad news is that I had to ask Isaac to open the Sprite before he went to work because I was too weak to even contemplate it. And the 10 pounds was lost in a day and a half. So it WILL be coming back.
It all started Monday night IMMEDIATELY after dinner. The cramping. The pain. The horror! I was up all Monday night with it. Yesterday was better but still not great. This morning I'm feeling MUCH better, but still terribly weak and shaky. Yesterday, I made Isaac promise to come home for lunch, to help feed Sammy. When I heard the garage door open at noon, I was relieved. I was drifting in and out of sleep, mildly conscious of Sammy making a giant mess, when I heard Isaac emptying his pockets into the bowl he keeps on our dresser. Something he only does, you know, when he's home for the day. And in my sick addled mind, I kept thinking...am I sicker than I realize? That Isaac had to come home to take care of me? Never once thinking that it might be HE who was now sick as well. But, low, it was Isaac coming home sick. Which is a BIG deal for my husband. Luckily he was less sick and not such a baby as I am when sick, so he hung out and rested while Sammy watched Kung Fu Panda and I took a glorious four hour nap.
After my nap, I started realizing how thirsty I was and that 24 hours with only one two liter of Sprite and two cups of yogurt leaves one a little weak. I cautiously made my way downstairs for the first time since it all started and felt as though I had just ran a marathon. Plus my diaphragm started in on its "so sore that it hurts to breathe" post puking extravaganza.
In checking facebook, I learn that both my mother and sister in law were sick as well. Isaac and I start thinking back and realize that it may not be the stomach flu after all. It may have been something we ate at my in-laws on Easter. And this morning, it starts becoming even more clear. The strawberries. The four of us ate the bulk of them. I ate some Saturday night while cutting them, making sense why I got sick first and every one else didn't get sick until yesterday. And Sammy didn't get sick at all (because heaven FORBID he eats something other than sandwiches. Or yogurt)...Of course, I could be wrong, but that's the way I'm leaning right now.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Sprite diet day two will now commence.
Heh...
(morrissey, first of the gang to die)
same, same!
all about me
Monday, April 5, 2010
It All Makes Sense
I LOVE this song. This reminds me of college. It reminds me of my best friends in the world. It reminds me of Craigo's breadsticks and singing at the top of our lungs at 2 am and plastering the lyric, "I'm standing high on tip toes looking over fences, waiting for somebody like you to kiss me senseless" in our lives at every possible breath. It reminds me of talks about what our future spouses might be like. It reminds me of worry free fun. It reminds me of crushes and tests and the feeling that the world was mine.
Because it all DOES make sense...
(lightning seeds, sense)
Because it all DOES make sense...
(lightning seeds, sense)
same, same!
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