I've been a lot of fun lately, yeah? I didn't realize anything might be wrong until my lovely friend Summer asked. And then I realized, well, yeah. I may not be great. It's all the normal things, though: it's January, I need the house to sell, my hubby and I need a date night, I need a babysitter so I can go to a matinee, the news is overwhelming, blah, blah, blah...So no biggie, just life. So instead of me, let's talk politics. Cause that can NEVER go badly, right?
I saw this yesterday and didn't think a whole lot about it. And then I started seeing it everywhere and started to get bugged by it being A DEAL. I really hate the fact that it's a story that she has a differing political opinion than her husband. What is this? Early 1900's? No. Anyone who was paying any attention last year KNOWS they differ on this issue. That she is publicly supporting this should not be any surprise at all and yet, it made headlines. Why is that? Ok, so I know WHY, but, really, why? It sincerely bothers me. Especially that they asked her husband for a statement. Blech.
I really hate Glenn Beck. Really. I would rather listen to Rush 24/7 than one hour of Glenn Beck. I think he MAY be the scariest man on earth, right now. If anything keeps me out of heaven, it may be my red faced, can't say a good word about him hatred of Beck. I would gladly endure a 4 year Palin presidency if the trade off was that Glenn Beck could never speak again. Seriously. So imagine my surprise when I read that he rebuked the newly voted in Senator from Massachusetts for auctioning off his daughters on tv. Crap. Something Beck and I agree on. Luckily, he didn't stop there and ruined a good rebuking with his idiocy, so all is right again, but there for a second? Beck and I agreed. I may have thrown up a little.
And, lastly. Is anyone REALLY surprised? Really?
Music to start the weekend:
(the kooks, shine on)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Word of the Year
Abundance. Today we are getting an abundance of snow. Fluffy, thick snow, weighing heavy.
The weight of the world is heavy in a different kind of way. I feel as though someone has sucked the life out of everyone. We're all afraid to laugh or cry or move on or mourn or live. I feel as though everything is difficult and tough and heartbreaking and I'm not sure why. Maybe this is how most have felt the past year and I'm now just catching up. Maybe it's the natural helplessness that comes with unspeakable tragedy, showing us that most humans aren't callous and cruel, but ill equipped to help. Maybe it's the long, dark winter or national PMS or just too much in too little time. But whatever it is I'm beginning to feel it. The darkness, the hopelessness and the horror. I want to make it go away for everyone. All the hurt, all the heartache. I've been looking for signs of life for my word of the year, abundance. I didn't expect the first thing to be an abundance of sadness. An abundance of adulthood. An abundance of not knowing how to help. An abundance of weight.
Tomorrow we'll take Sammy sledding and ignore the ills of the world, but today...today is a hot chocolate, snuggged up on the couch watching the snow kind of day. Unplugged from media, from the world, from the hurt and play with my kid, trying to capture the magic of winter in the doldrums of January.
Music for a quiet day:
(feeling the pull, the swell season)
The weight of the world is heavy in a different kind of way. I feel as though someone has sucked the life out of everyone. We're all afraid to laugh or cry or move on or mourn or live. I feel as though everything is difficult and tough and heartbreaking and I'm not sure why. Maybe this is how most have felt the past year and I'm now just catching up. Maybe it's the natural helplessness that comes with unspeakable tragedy, showing us that most humans aren't callous and cruel, but ill equipped to help. Maybe it's the long, dark winter or national PMS or just too much in too little time. But whatever it is I'm beginning to feel it. The darkness, the hopelessness and the horror. I want to make it go away for everyone. All the hurt, all the heartache. I've been looking for signs of life for my word of the year, abundance. I didn't expect the first thing to be an abundance of sadness. An abundance of adulthood. An abundance of not knowing how to help. An abundance of weight.
Tomorrow we'll take Sammy sledding and ignore the ills of the world, but today...today is a hot chocolate, snuggged up on the couch watching the snow kind of day. Unplugged from media, from the world, from the hurt and play with my kid, trying to capture the magic of winter in the doldrums of January.
Music for a quiet day:
(feeling the pull, the swell season)
same, same!
all about me
It's My Life
Sometimes I look around me and think, wait. I'm NOT just starting my life. I'm not on the precipice anymore. This IS my life. Right now. I'm in the middle of it and I can't keep passing things off for "later". Sometimes that surprises me. I'm nearly (2 weeks!) 36 and I'm pretty sure this may be a mid-life crisis.
Some days I glance at the clock to see that it's nearly 5 pm. I am at once gleeful that the love of my life will soon be home and all will be right with our world and horrified that another day has slipped by with me doing woefully little. Sure, we are dressed and the house is clean and Sammy is happy and has lego towers and treasure maps and train tracks, but my lists grow longer and not shorter and since I've given in to the winter and have sat reading in the afternoons, lately, I feel I've wasted time that could be doing...what, exactly? Writing? The sewing projects I have lined up? Jewelry (I signed up to sell on etsy today and ordered business cards...still mulling!)? The reorganizing and purging and list making I seem to always do? I'm not sure.
But I'm realizing more and more lately that this is my one little life and I am starting to hate seeing the days slip away, in surprise, one after another exactly the same.
Music to ponder by:
(talk talk, it's my life)
Some days I glance at the clock to see that it's nearly 5 pm. I am at once gleeful that the love of my life will soon be home and all will be right with our world and horrified that another day has slipped by with me doing woefully little. Sure, we are dressed and the house is clean and Sammy is happy and has lego towers and treasure maps and train tracks, but my lists grow longer and not shorter and since I've given in to the winter and have sat reading in the afternoons, lately, I feel I've wasted time that could be doing...what, exactly? Writing? The sewing projects I have lined up? Jewelry (I signed up to sell on etsy today and ordered business cards...still mulling!)? The reorganizing and purging and list making I seem to always do? I'm not sure.
But I'm realizing more and more lately that this is my one little life and I am starting to hate seeing the days slip away, in surprise, one after another exactly the same.
Music to ponder by:
(talk talk, it's my life)
same, same!
all about me
Monday, January 18, 2010
I Got Nuthin'
So, I think I've mentioned before that I have acid reflux. Have had for several years (since Portland days). I've been on the heavy duty medicine since the beginning, the lesser stuff not touching my heart burn. At the worst of it, I couldn't eat because it felt as though I always had Thanksgiving Day dinner pressing up on my diaphragm and lungs making it difficult to breathe, even when all I had eaten was a bowl of cereal. I was popping Tums at every turn and had several nights where I couldn't sleep due to heartburn.
When we moved into the old house, everything was downstairs (family room, my office, laundry, kitchen...) and I had a routine down. Medicine, check my email, put in laundry and back upstairs for shower / get ready for the day. When we moved here, to the new house, everything is upstairs (sans kitchen), so there are days I don't even make it downstairs until lunchtime (forgetting to eat is sometimes a problem...). This doesn't lend itself well to a medicine routine.
The last time I filled my RX for my reflux was the beginning of November. It's a 30 day script. I still have half a dozen to eight pills left, even. The first time I realized I kept forgetting to take them, a few days had passed. The next time, a week. Today I'm up to just past two weeks. And the crazy thing about all of this? I feel great. Better than on meds. Better than before all of this started. I don't think about eating and heart burn and ramifications. I don't have colon distress. I feel like my digestive system MIGHT be a little bit normal. I'm so confused. This isn't a condition to be cured from. This isn't a condition that should just go away for no reason. I'm treading lightly and slightly confused, but I'm hopeful this means I can take over the counter stuff, instead. That $100 / month was getting a little much!
Monday mood music:
(i just don't know what to do with myself, the white stripes)
When we moved into the old house, everything was downstairs (family room, my office, laundry, kitchen...) and I had a routine down. Medicine, check my email, put in laundry and back upstairs for shower / get ready for the day. When we moved here, to the new house, everything is upstairs (sans kitchen), so there are days I don't even make it downstairs until lunchtime (forgetting to eat is sometimes a problem...). This doesn't lend itself well to a medicine routine.
The last time I filled my RX for my reflux was the beginning of November. It's a 30 day script. I still have half a dozen to eight pills left, even. The first time I realized I kept forgetting to take them, a few days had passed. The next time, a week. Today I'm up to just past two weeks. And the crazy thing about all of this? I feel great. Better than on meds. Better than before all of this started. I don't think about eating and heart burn and ramifications. I don't have colon distress. I feel like my digestive system MIGHT be a little bit normal. I'm so confused. This isn't a condition to be cured from. This isn't a condition that should just go away for no reason. I'm treading lightly and slightly confused, but I'm hopeful this means I can take over the counter stuff, instead. That $100 / month was getting a little much!
Monday mood music:
(i just don't know what to do with myself, the white stripes)
same, same!
all about me,
health
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