I try to write honestly. I do change a few details and leave out names to protect the people who are not me, but other than that, my blog is a fairly honest and open depiction of my life and history. For example, I have zero problems sharing with you how certain experiences in my life make me feel, but the exact happenings, I may change a little, depending on the happenings.
However, there are a FEW details that I will never share. I will never share exactly what happened with my divorce, though I'm ok talking in generals and some events. I will never share fights Isaac and I have. Hmmm. I think that's really it. I will NEVER share fights Isaac and I have. I won't share a lot from my life here and now, but most things in my history are fair game. Aside from marital spats, however, should my here and now be more open?
When I'm dead and gone and Sammy and his family are going through my journals (of which there are A LOT), I hope nothing is a surprise. I hope that I was honest enough with my kid that he realizes that I was a teenage girl, I was a newly married, I was one with ups and downs and problems and trials. But most of all, I hope he realizes that his mom was a good writer and used that medium to sort through and leave a little part of herself for whomever is interested. That maybe something I've written will help, even if the person it's helping is me. I refer back to my journals often, for stories or growth or perspective.
I've heard of people who will tear out pages of their history or (HORROR!) throw away complete diaries due to embarrassment, but I could never. I write what is important to me and I write what I honestly feel at any given time. I would hate to lose that over a small thing like embarrassment.
Music for memory lane:
(nobody's diary, yaz)
I don't keep a written journal. I used to. And I am tempted at times to tear out pages or throw the whole thing out. Though I haven't yet.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think about starting up again with the pen and paper style of journaling.
There are some things in my life that I can't write about on my blog. Putting my true feelings out there about those things would just cause pain and discord. You might know a bit of them from another more private place that I do use to do a fraction of the venting.
I suppose it's okay after I'm gone for my family to read the details bouncing around in my head and heart. But it would definitely not be edifying to make them public now.
Maybe it's kind of the same as you not sharing details of marital spats. You might get to a place where you aren't willing to share details about Sammy either. Although I wish for a pleasant future for you all as he grows into an adult.
Trish - those experiences (like yours) is a reason I still journal. Some things you can't write about here (as much as you want to!) because of who is reading.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can already feel myself pull back on the Sammy stuff here while using my journal more. It's a hard road to navigate as they get older...
There are some things I won't ever write about because of the people that i'd hurt. And the parts of my life that I don't want to remember at all, I'm not anxious to share. But the things I've learned, even in humiliating ways, I want to have recorded.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
Oh, Yaz...
ReplyDeleteI think there are some things that don't need to be said or that people don't need to know. But I could never bring myself to throw away a diary, and I think I self-edit just enough as I write to not need to edit after the fact.
I'm the same way. I'm choosy as to what I blog about but keep a detailed journal for the family after I'm gone.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I hope they won't find any surprises in there either. :-)