Seriously...

I'm having one of those "you HAVE GOT to be kidding" spans of time. Ok, really just yesterday, but still.

Since seriously considering the new house, Isaac and I have adjusted our budget to make sure we can float two mortgages until we can get our current house sold. And since swine flu hit so hard here in October, Sammy and I have been staying home more often than not as a precaution. Those two forces combined in some super crappy rain on my head moment yesterday that found me in Borders buying a recycling truck duplo set for Sammy, a book for Sammy and a book for me (that Isaac has temporarily stolen). On the credit card. That I NEVER use. Especially never since the new budget went into effect. But, gosh darn it! I wanted them, so I bought them. While leaving Borders, I backed right into a nice little woman's car. Do we all remember what I do when I get flustered and upset? That's right, by the end of the exchanging information period, I had HER consoling ME for hitting HER car because I was crying and she was just so very nice and not that upset and here's hoping it's a minor "pop the dent back out" kind of fix that we don't even have to use our insurance for. (As a side note, though, my car, fine, I was going maybe 2 miles an hour and literally just DID NOT see her pulling out as well. 36 years accident free down the tubes...)

I was fairly upset about that most of the evening, but had a lovely distraction in the form of knitting night with Lora. Yay! We still don't know what we're doing and HER knitting started requiring math, which means I may never attempt anything other than a scarf. Which requires no math. (Aside #2: I had a dream last night where a snarky bank teller was mocking me and I yelled at her for assuming I couldn't do math. I blame the knitting...)

This morning I was greeted by an email from my bank informing me that they took an overdraft amount / fee out of my savings and put it into my checking. Which, hello! I get the message! Stop spending freaking money! But on the other hand, I don't bounce things. My checking account is balanced to the penny at least twice a week. So, I'm 99% sure this was a mistake of some sort, but after the day I had yesterday, I wouldn't be surprised if I bought something in my sleep in an act of financial rebellion and did this to myself. Because that's apparently how I did things yesterday. And to make everything worse*, Isaac's sick so I haven't been able to watch Glee yet. I may have to Tivo cheat on Isaac today for the first time in a long time...

Music to squander your savings to:

(rooney, when did your heart go missing)

*just so you know, things aren't really THAT bad and i'm in a fairly good mood. while everything stated really DID happen, I'm fine and our finances are also fine. as long as a dent bump out of that lady's car doesn't cost a zillion dollars...

Things I know for sure:

*I know I'm a strong, opinionated woman.
*I know that deep down, I'm insecure and standing on shaky Bambi legs 95% of the time.
*I know I have dreams and desires and that I can, with enough work, fulfill them.
*I know I require more than I am willing to give, more than I sometimes want to give and fail more often than I would like to admit.
*I know I know less than I did when I was 20.
*I know that at any given moment, my family room looks as if a toy store exploded into it.
*I know that I am capable of living life alone.
*I know that since I am capable of living life alone, that choosing to live it with the greatest partner known to me is a great blessing.
*I know that I have lived through the horrible, struggled with the insurmountable, flirted with the fire and lived to tell the tale.
*I know Starbucks with new girlfriends is the boon to life.
*I know my heart breaks every day over tiny little things.
*I know that the greatest disappointment in my life stems from within.
*I know that Glee and take out is my favorite date.
*I know that if you have a serious fashion blunder happening, I WILL silently mock you. I also know I'll feel horrible about it.
*I know confronting the one thing that has been eating at you and getting non-scary back is liberating.
*I know that I miss my far away friends daily and have ridiculous gratitude for new friends continually.
*I know cream cheese is the face of all that is good and right in the world.
*I know that my life is so good that I sometimes hold my breath, just waiting for the bad while I should be living the good more fully.

*I know this man, for me, is the single greatest lyricist ever.

(crowded house, fingers of love)

This One and True Life

I stayed home with Sammy yesterday (week...seven? of the sporadic runny nose) and decided to finally do something will all of my apples. After downing four cups of cherry hot chocolate to help with my dry sinuses, I failed to open my comments for Holly's apple crumble recipe and decided to wing it. Because that's honestly how I cook. I was planning on cooking cranberries down in a sugar mixture and then slowly adding the apples and topping them with an oatmeal crumble. However, I got the pan too hot and burnt a little of the sugar on the bottom. I knew I could save it, so I tossed in the first thing I could think of: lowfat evaporated milk and cornstarch to thicken. Completely forgetting that doing so would make a fabulous caramel sauce. What a fortunate accident.

It's the 20th anniversary of Say Anything. Wow. And I thought this was awesome. "I gave her my heart and she gave me a...pen."

I recently met a local blog person (well, I'll officially meet her today!) and through getting to know her, an entire world has appeared to me. Links to links to links and I've started thinking about ways to market myself and my writing. First up is cleaning up the blog a bit and making sure everything that's out there is what I'm comfortable with. I don't really write about things that would embarrass me, but a double check is always good!

I watched season one of The Lazy Environmentalist yesterday. A lot of really good stuff. One episode focused on sustainable plants / landscaping and Isaac and I started talking about our new yard. It's completely barren and unlandscaped, which is great. We've spent the past year clearing out stupid landcaping on this house, so we're looking forward to getting this yard how we want. We will definitely be talking to the Water Wise people and to the students on campus who do sustainable landscaping. I want to focus my water money to the things that are important: a garden and my showers, not to keeping vegetation that has no business growing here alive. Good thing we're in a new subdivision, so our lawn, while under construction, won't be the worst eyesore in the neighborhood!

We have had six calls on our house in the 10 days it's been for sale. I wish I knew averages on how many inquiries = selling. Because we're feeling pretty good about the traffic, but could, really, be off in our happiness!

It snowed on Saturday. Cold, snowy, quiet. I may have listened to Christmas music yesterday as a result. Maybe.

I have a therapy appointment this week. Not at all looking forward to it. While, I suppose, it will be nice to have someone here to check in with once in awhile, I hate therapy. The better therapy appointment will be later that same night when Lora comes over for our monthly knitting date (are we still on this week?). And that one is free...


Music to start the week:

(cutting crew, (i just) died in your arms)