I just always assume that everyone knows my birth story, seeing as it's a cautionary tale and all, but then I realized that unless you saw me at home or the park after (where conversation was casual), you probably didn't hear all the details. On one hand I was traumatized and needed to talk about it. A lot. On the other, I didn't want to speak of it again! So here goes. Well, at least what I remember.
At about 30 weeks, I developed high blood pressure. Every time the checked for other signs of pre-ecclampsia, they couldn't find it. I was finally diagnosed with pregnancy induced hyper tension. I was put on moderate bed rest (stay down...for the most part) and had to go into the clinic / hospital at least three times a week: one for my appointment (I got to start weeklys early) and at least two non-stress tests. I always wondered why I was put on bed rest simply to have to GO more...but I digress.
Over the next couple of months, this continued. Tests, appointments, frustration, swelling, but nothing *really* bad they could pinpoint. Isaac has a BP cuff he uses for patients, so he brought that home and we started monitoring my BP at home, once in the morning and again at night. It was a little elevated, but almost always went down after resting. Only a couple of times did it warrant a trip to the hospital to get checked out. I think over those two months, I had to do at least four or five 24hour urine tests, so many non-stress tests I can't count and vials and vials of blood taken. I felt nowhere near normal and I had one too many breakdowns in the middle of it all.
The night before my due date (July 26th), I was feeling a little off. I assumed it was because I was nine months pregnant, but had Isaac check my BP just in case and, quite frankly, so I could worry a little less and get some sleep. He took it, grunted Casey style a little, waited a few minutes, took it again on the other arm, grunted, had me lay on my left side and took it again. The lowest reading was 170/100. Being over the "rest and see" point, we grabbed my bag and a few things and headed to the hospital. We got there about 10 pm on Wednesday, July 26th. My stand in midwife was on call (my regular midwife was on maternity leave) and she immediately decided to induce me. My BP was going down a little, but not much. I wasn't dilated at all (sadly) and they hooked up the pitocin. A little while later, I still wasn't feeling the contractions, but they assured me they were there. Another check and I had dilated *just* a little bit. So my midwife decided to "help me along". I don't know if you've ever had to deal with being manually dilated, but...wow. It was the worst pain I've ever felt. They stick a tube with a balloon into places they shouldn't go and pump, Jordan Nike style, to expand the area. Yeah. Fun. That got me up to around a 4. More pitocin and high BP follow.
At this point, it's early the next morning and I finally start feeling some contractions. As soon as I feel the first one, I have to get an epidural due to my blood pressure. Once it's in, progress slows (HA!) a little. She comes in, manually dilates me to a seven (thank you epidural!) and starts the highest dose of pitocin she can. This is pretty much how we spend the bulk of Thursday. At some point, they come in and break my water, but still. Nothing happens. Thursday evening I'm still at a seven and Sammy's heart rate is dropping a little. My BP is still crazy and I've been stalled at a seven for hours. My midwife turns me over to the OB on call and, at about 7:30 pm (nearly 24 hours after we got there!) he comes in and gives me my options. They aren't fun, but I still stubbornly opt to wait it out. A few minutes later, my newest round of labs come back, they check my BP and I no longer have options. Emergency c-section it is!
They wheel me in and Sammy is born at 8:10 pm. He's perfect and healthy. They give me meds to counter my high BP and it makes my BP crashed way lower than it should. To counter
THAT, they give me something else and all of a sudden my face feels like it's on fire and I feel like I'm going to die. I get someone's attention and they start asking questions just as ALL of the monitors in the room go off. My BP is 230/133. They start pushing stuff to prevent strokes and seizures as well as to stabilize my BP. They get that mostly controlled and wheel me to my recovery room. I am not feeling good at all. Over the next 1/2 hour (when yesterday's third picture was taken) is a blur. I know I don't feel good. I know I was jaundiced. I know I was on about five different meds, but I knew something else was wrong. They took labs and came in and all I remember is a nurse saying "she needs to be somewhere they can monitor her constantly because she may not make it".
The hospital we were in doesn't have a nursery; it's all room in. So they were having a problem of where to take me, knowing Isaac would want to be there and, at the same time, where Sammy would go. He couldn't leave the recovery wing (bracelets), but I couldn't stay there. So they wheeled me to a delivery room and set it up as a temporary ICU for me. Isaac stayed behind with Sammy until one of the nicest nurses finally said, "you know what? we aren't that busy...we'll just keep him in his bassinet up at the counter with us until we figure this out." and that's what they did for the next three days. Kept Sammy with them at the desk. Isaac went back and fed him and talked to him, but for the most part he stayed with me.
It turns out I had post delivery
HELLP. It's a form of ecclampsia, but more severe. There are three levels and mine was the most severe level (characterized by developing it after delivery, where most cases are cured BY delivery). I don't remember all it did, but it caused me to go into liver failure, my BP was sky high, my platelet count was...low? Is that the way that makes you not clot? That one. And several other things I don't remember. I was on steroids, magnesium, BP meds, and a couple of other things. I was told at my two week follow up that I was within about 30 minutes of dying: they were prepping paperwork and getting ready to go talk to Isaac when something sparked a little hope for me. After the three days of temporary ICU (I understand Sammy got hall hopping privileges a couple of times, but I don't really remember that), I was able to go back to my recovery room late Sunday night. I was better, but still mighty drugged.
Monday was much better. My labs were coming back nearly normal in the morning and my liver was completely fine by the afternoon. I started getting up a little and was actually aware enough to hold Sammy and rock him. We went home on Tuesday afternoon and I was never so grateful for my shower and bed.
I had a two week followup where I got all checked (way more intensively than normal!)and given the brief rundown of what had happened. At my six week check, I got to stop my BP meds and I was told that if I had another baby, my chances of dying from the pregnancy was about 40%. The chance of a baby being born at about 24 weeks or earlier for a subsequent pregnancy was higher. We decided then that we were done. I KNEW in my heart that if we had another, it wouldn't turn out as well. I was surprisingly at peace with that; the peace getting stronger with each doctor telling me NOT to get pregnant again (we're up to 10 now!).
I still can't believe everything that happened. They know so little about HELLP and the longterm, but so far so good. My BP has never gone down to pre-pregnancy levels, but they aren't terrible, either. HELLP affects about 3% of pregnancies and within that 3%, 3% of those develop the type I had. It's very rare. Oddly, my post c-section doctor had seen it before and there was another lady in the next room from me who had a more mild case the same weekend I was there. Isaac and I always say that we were blessed to have him where we did with the doctors we had. If we had waited and had him in Utah, it may not have played out as nicely (we've been told we WOULD have been air-lifted to Salt Lake because our town won't touch HELLP).
So...yeah. I don't know how to wrap this up. We're blessed, definitely. I'm always paranoid that I'll accidentally get pregnant, but that lessens with time. It was all around crazy and I'm glad it's over and in the past!
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