This I Remember...

I am having a full-fledged, all-out, holy cow attack of cabin fever mixed with spring cleaningitis. It's been a few years since I've felt this, but I remember it well. I remember that first winter I was married to my ex. It was long and cold and for one week in February, we had unseasonably warm temps. He golfed, I opened windows, cleaning and cooking and feeling rejuvenated.

It's not unseasonably warm this week (I'm so cold!) but I still spent the morning cleaning out closets and putting old things in sacks for charity. I've rearranged two rooms in the past week, deep cleaning as I go. I have a plan in place to deep clean the rest of the house in the coming weeks in the hopes that when I'm done, it'll be warm enough to tackle the garage and set the toys back on the back porch, ready for spring. I know it's a long shot seeing as it's only early February, but a girl needs to dream. These next couple of months are going to be brutal.

I can't wait for spring. I can't wait to turn off the heater and throw open the windows. I can't wait to air out the house. I can't wait to put the clothesline back up and get our yard ready for lettuce and onions and herbs. I can't wait for flip flops and a warm sun. I can't wait to look out and see color where there is now only a sea of white. I can't wait for walks outside and park days and the farmer's market.

But in this winter grip that I swear won't let go, I realize why I missed winter so much in San Diego...its absence deprived me of the longing for spring. It turns out I need that longing in my life. I need to shed my hibernating skin, slowly cleaning and putting things in place and emerge energized. It seems to fuel my soul.