Here's Where The Story Ends

My sister has said, multiple times, that our mild fall and start to winter had to be due to my will of force - that I kept bad weather at bay and didn't want it to come just that badly, with my thin San Diego blood.

Mark your calendars, today, folks. It's the day my will has died. We're talking at least five inches dumped since I got up this morning (considering I could still see grass at 6 a.m. and when Isaac left for work at 10 it was up past his ankles and grass, sidewalks, roads, everything is a distant memory!) and it's still coming down with a forecast of more tomorrow and possibly Monday. Winter has arrived with a flourish!

But I will say this. It's BEAUTIFUL. The simple, romantic sight of a lovely white Christmas to come. If Isaac gets off early enough, we'll bundle the boy and see what he thinks of his first real snow. Today I'm loving it (I don't have to leave the house). I'm sure that will last at least a couple of weeks until Christmas is over and the long dark winter sets in (I'm having flashbacks of Januarys I could have done without). But for now, I have a pot of hot chocolate on the stove, my blinds open wide to see the falling flakes and a child-like wonder going on. I'm going to enjoy it until it betrays me!

Christmas Letter 2008

We haven't sent paper cards out for several years, even though I debate it every year. I usually just type a letter and email it to family and friends (saves sanity, postage and paper!). However, this year I've decided to post our Christmas letter here. Since anyone who reads here knows what has been happening this year, I'll simply say Merry Christmas. I hope everyone has a love filled season. Know that we are thinking of you, near or far, and we hope you all feel as incredibly blessed as we do.

Our all decorated, only slightly pathetic tree:
An even more pathetic kinda decorated living room:
Sammy, in all manner of cute:
And, for your enjoyment, a talking Sammy:

Because I Have No Shame, vol. 7

I am in desperate need of a hair cut. On days I don't leave the house, I find myself putting my hair up in two teeny tiny pigtails. That, for me, is a sure sign. I've gone a little longer between cuts this time because I'm ready for something new. I'm thinking shorter than I had it before and a bolder color, but I'm still not sure.
Something like this, maybe:

Or this, even:

As long as I don't end up looking like this, again, I think I'm good:

(me, 6th grade, really unfortunate hair style, not to mention clothing option)

Chuck Seems to Permeate My Every Thought...Maybe It's An Illness

Since I seem to be writing stumped today, we'll add to the list of favorite songs. This song, unlike previous entries, is relatively new and even newer to me.

My brother in law always makes sure I've heard the new music he finds that he thinks I'll like. Before Sammy, it was easy to stay up on it, take it to work, etc. Since Sammy, I'm a little slower going through any samplings he's made for me. On one of our last trips to Utah while we were still living in San Diego, he gave me a disc with a band called Apartment on it. I listened, but then forgot about it.

A few months ago, my sister and I were talking and she mentioned this song and how much she loved it. She told me that Jacob had originally found it because it was playing on an episode of Chuck and he rewound / listened until he could google enough lyrics to find the song. I remembered he had thrown it on disc for me and I went home to put it on my iPod. It hasn't left yet and I'm nowhere near getting sick of it. I am simply in love with this song.

Fall Into Place - Apartment

The Bed is on Fire...With Passion and Love

When I first moved to Utah, I wasn't planning on staying to go to college. It was a mere pit stop to stay with my sister, who was coming home that summer from her mission, on my way to somewhere warmer. Needless to say, I got stuck. And have the stories to prove it.

Right after I moved, in May 1994 (just weeks after breaking up with the boy from Wyoming, I met my gay ex-boyfriend (GEB). I'm hard pressed to remember how, though. I'm thinking his best friend and I met first and I met him through the best friend (who I adored, but assumed was gay. Funny, right?). But even that is fuzzy. If you remember, this was also around the time I met my ex-husband. My ex-husband and I didn't really date right away; we hung out and got to know one another, but there wasn't an exclusive dating thing right off. Besides, I really liked GEB and was focusing on that.

After a couple of months, things hadn't really...progressed in a timely manner. I was getting frustrated by the whole thing, but was still very young and willing to do a lot to please a boy. So I held on and waited. GEB's best friend assured me that he liked me, but that the timing wasn't great. So, fine. I wait. On the 4th of July, I got off work and spent the rest of the day with GEB and his best friend. We had a great afternoon and went up on campus to watch the fireworks in all their romantic glory. After, we headed back to my place and snuggled up to watch movies. It was a great evening and I was sure, once again, that things were fine. Going slower than I thought possible, but fine. At the end of the evening, he pulled me aside for a chat. He said that he really liked me, wanted to keep dating me, but that he was dealing with some family issues (which was true - I saw most of them first hand) and the timing wasn't great. Could I just be patient? Sure. Why not, right?

During the rest of July, I continued seeing GEB and my ex-husband both and while nothing much was happening on either front, I was feeling the need to make some sort of decision. I'm not a great multi-dater person. Since my ex-husband and I were having so much fun, I decided I should give that my full time and effort and see what would happen. The day after I made this decision, my ex-hubby and I went to Salt Lake shopping. I told him what I had decided and he, naturally happy, was very supportive in giving me a little time to talk to GEB. We walked around the mall and went into Structure. Who should we see but GEB and some girl holding hands. I was flummoxed to say the least. Who was she? Why was he with her? Holding her hand? What was going on? Yes. The irony of where I was and who I was with was completely lost on me. I did, however, think maybe the talk wouldn't go so badly after this. They never saw us and we left. I later called him and we chatted. I told him about ex-husband and my decision and that was pretty much that. Our three months of kinda, sorta, almost but not really moving along in any productive way dating was over.

But, wait. There's more to the story. About a year after I got married, I went to the movies by myself. Things were already starting to be not so great at home and MY best friend had just moved to town, complicating my already tender feelings. So I went to see My Best Friend's Wedding. Yeah, not the greatest choice. I had just gotten home from work, so I had thrown on some sweats and a sweatshirt and put my hair in a ponytail. I was not, in fact, looking glam in any sense of the word. I settled in with my gobstoppers (I'm assuming since they are usually my theater snack of choice) when I sensed a couple sitting behind me. I didn't really pay attention until I heard my GEB's voice. I turn JUST in time to see him snuggling into the seat directly behind me. Holding hands. With his boyfriend. Nothing picks you up on a bad day quite like sitting in front of your ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend. Especially when you had NO idea there was any sexual confusion going on just months prior. The entire movie I plotted my escape plan. There were two doors from the theater. I would simply wait, go out of the one they did not and turn right toward home. It was a great plan up until they turned left to their car and I ran smack into them. I can, to this day, hear his voice, very over-the-top, "Tawnya! It's so good to see you! OH MY GOSH!!! I heard you got married! Congrats!". Ugh. Where are holes that swallow when you need them?

I never saw him after that (well, until a month or so ago). I heard snippits here and there, but nothing concrete. Until around the time Isaac and I got married, I think. My sister and brother-in-law knew a girl. They were talking one day and, however things like this come around, they found out they all knew GEB. How did she know him? Oh, she dated him. The exact same time I did. Along with one other girl, I think. So. I guess if you're gearing up to come out of the closet, you may as well have one last, final...really boring dating streak? I just don't know.