Daily Living

My sister was scheduled to come over yesterday and can relish. I put a load of laundry in the washer and started cleaning up and getting ready. Unfortunately, my washer had other plans. After four hardworking months (ha!) it decided to give up on life. Frustrating. So, a frenzied hour began: calls to GE to get a repairman scheduled (still hasn't happened) that is an approved dealer for our warranty; calls to my sister to change the location of canning and to beg use of her washer to finish my laundry; packing the car of all the supplies and laundry. Whew!

Happily, the relish was canned along with bread and butter pickles and all the laundry was done and I was in the shower before dinner time. Sadly, the repairman hasn't called yet and I fear I'll be spending next week calling and trying to get them here yesterday already. Not to mention batting my eyelashes to gain the use of my sister's machine. Again. On top of that, my lovely son, who has not peed through his diaper at night in months, chose last night to restart that grand fun. So much for my plan of using as little laundry as possible!

Life sometimes likes to remind you that things go smoothly for only so long...

Belief

When I was younger, I believed in absolutes. You meet the nice guy in Sunday School and marry him; you live happily ever after. You get good grades and work hard; you excel in your chosen field. You are the nice one in high school; you get the nice life.

As I grew up, I realized absolutes just don't exist. Some husbands stay and some freak out and leave you confused and alone. Your chosen path is difficult and sometimes bothersome and rarely profitable. The airheads who got everything in high school get the good life and the smart, work hard kids don't. It's all a complicated web and none of it is absolute. Free will, both personal and others, come into play. God can't, and won't, stop the consequences of actions.

So, when you meet that nice boy in Sunday School and you decide that marrying him is the right thing to do, it is. But, years later, you can't stop his free will in leaving. It doesn't mean you aren't the good girl. It doesn't mean you are less than. It doesn't mean anything other than the nice boy you met didn't want to stay married and he left.

I read an obituary recently of a girl, my exact age, who died in a car accident. She had been married for two years. When things are going well, I think about things like this and wonder if things going well are the exception and the tragedy and difficulties are the rule. I'm sure nothing told this young woman two years ago that she should hold on and cherish the next 700+ days with her new husband because that is all she had, just as nothing is telling us our personal countdown to the end. Her mind's absolute may have been to hold on for Mr. Right; he's coming. Her absolute, I'm sure, didn't end in tragedy. No absolutes are absolute.

Isaac and my anniversary is today. In the beginning, I was grateful everyday for a second shot at happiness. I squeezed and held and nearly suffocated it to death since, by this time, I knew better than absolutes. So I was grateful, but cautious. I had no guarantees going into this that it would work. The nice guy had already left once, who knew what would happen a second time? However, over the past decade or so, I have relaxed. Some absolutes are finding their way back into my life, albeit a little changed. The second time around is sweeter and more difficult; but working at it everyday helps. Solid friendships rarely fail. Success in life - the good life - comes in a variety of shapes and is rarely a one size opportunity.

Nine years ago I lept into a scary world where nothing made sense anymore; where I had no absolutes to comfort me. I didn't know where life would take us, but I was willing to learn; am still willing to learn. Nine years ago today I was a different woman. Nine years ago seems like a lifetime. But, nine years later I'm still grateful. And cautious. And incredibly, incredibly blessed.


clockwise, the scowl, the DP, the engagement, the sneeze

My Pretend Boyfriend

I am often asked who Neil Finn is. It always makes me sad when he isn't everyone's top musical choice, but whatever. I guess we can still be friends. However, one day, when I finally get to Karekare Beach, you'll have to prove your love to go with me.

Today you get a treat. My favorite Neil Finn songs (whether they are Crowded House, Neil Finn, Finn, Split Enz makes no difference to me), in no particular order. Hmmm. Maybe I could get my sister to do the same for Morrissey...

Fall At Your Feet

So pretty, just one of the best songs ever written. It's awesome live.

Distant Sun

Still awesome. And I can't even tell you how long this episode of Austin City Limits stayed on my TiVo. After I had permanently burned it to a couple of discs. "Feeling your desire burn as you're drawn to the flame..."

Wherever You Are

The man's use of lyrics kill me.

When You Come


Into Temptation

Possibly one of my top favorite songs ever.

Suffer Never


Fingers of Love


History Never Repeats

Ok, so it's not Neil singing, it's Eddie Vedder. I just love this version!

She Goes On

The song I want played at my funeral...

Home Life

Ok, everyone. It's time to gather some help from my wonderful mommy friends. We are completely stumped in the parenting department (big surprise, I know...) right now. I realize that most of this is probably because of his age, but still, I'm trying my best not to raise a delinquent.

Sammy will not listen to "no" anymore. He seems to be pushing and pushing boundaries and seems to think that he can do whatever he wants. Fine. I expect that. What I don't expect is that consequences don't seem to...matter? Sink in? Equate in his mind with the bad behavior? Time out is way too easy for him. He goes willingly to the stairs and folds his arms and sits there until I say he can get up. It certainly doesn't seem to be the thing that will change behavior. He loses toys, etc, when they are in the mix, but, again...nothing. It's like punishment doesn't faze him and he just finds something else to do. It's not horrible right now because Sammy's a pretty good kid, but I'd like SOMETHING to fall back on, you know?

Issue two is nursery. He hates it and will not go. They bring him to us every week crying his head off. I don't want to make him go if he's so miserable and at the same time I know he needs to go and get used to it!

So. Tricks? Suggestions? Nice boarding schools you've heard of? Bring it on...