Happy 4th

There are a lot of things I disagree with this July 4th. We are in a war we shouldn't be fighting, risking people's lives we shouldn't be risking. We are in a horrible economy that isn't a surprise, all things considered. We have an administration so out of touch with reality it's scary and I'm terrified people might actually vote for McCain as our replacement. Every day there is a headline that makes me exasperated and want November to come more quickly so I can vote and cast my voice for change in the way this country is being run. I do love this country, but I'm horrified of the things that have happened recently.

I love the freedom I have to voice these opinions without fear or prejudice. I love the rights I have by living here. I love that I am treated equally and have the ability to make choices for my life without fear of repercussion. I love how hard women fought to have the 19th Amendment passed. I love that I can live and let live among all cultures and creeds. I love the tolerance that most feel toward their fellow human beings; that believing differently isn't cause for riot.

The thing I'm most proud of, however, is our right to free speech. As a writer, I'm grateful everyday for this right. I am grateful that everyone of every opinion, or no opinion at all, has this same right. We do not have to kowtow to a certain party line whether we believe it or not in order to live. What a beautiful thing. Voltaire said, "Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.". That is what makes living here great. We can abide by that or not and, within the boundaries of the law, we are safe.

A wise professor of mine always ends his emails with this quote by Tom Stoppard, "I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.". And how very grateful I am for that.

Beat Surrender

Another favorite song is Under You by Better Than Ezra. I have my ex to thank for introducing me to BTE. I now love them. They are one of my all time, top 5 favorite bands. They have great lyrics and the tone of voice used in their songs is remarkable. It always tends to blow me away.

It's difficult to come up with one favorite song from them when there are so many to choose from. Do I choose Good, Porcelain, Live Again, At the Stars? Out of those, Live Again is very, very near the top of the list. I love the line,

"Now, retreating from the light
I love it when we fight
It makes me think
At least you still care"


However, Under You always makes me smile. It reminds me of sitting in the car the day the CD came out, making up stories about the strangers we saw. And holding hands, walking down main street in Park City. It reminds me of standing on the precipice of something big and being ok, without ever looking back.

I couldn't find a video of the song at all, only links to lyrics and mp3s. I think that's a shame.

"You moved in slow degrees
A sudden memory
You're a Leonard Cohen song

But every now and then I'd swear
I see you standing
On a sidewalk,
In a restaurant,
From a taxi passing by"

~Under You, Better Than Ezra

Proof is in The Video

Sorry this one is sideways. I forget I can't turn it around later if I film like that! Silly camera...

What A Difference...

It still amazes me that when you really need something in your life, little nonessential prayers are answered steadily.

During Isaac's fourth year of Optometry school, he was gone on rotation for about six months and I didn't have a lot to do. The other wives stayed home with their kids and got together during the day so they had the evenings with their husbands. I worked, had no kids and Isaac was gone. Weekends were nice, but the weeks were very slow and lonely. I remember just crying one day and praying I could lift out of the fog I was in and after, I had about three phone calls. Two for plans during the week and another of a friend calling to check on me. It was nice to have that little answer. It didn't make the time go any faster, but the distraction did what distractions do.

This past week I made a concentrated effort to break out of my shell and find some friends. I think for week one of the operation, it went well. I talked to more people, started walking with a group of girls from church and attended a couple of activities. What a difference a week makes.